Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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