Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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