The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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