Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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