that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
