You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
