He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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