I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
