The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
organizing the empties. That sober.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
