Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
