This is not my ceiling
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
