i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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