I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
