the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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