If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
