SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
