the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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