worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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