Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
