whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
