the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
