The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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