he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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