cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
