Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
