Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"

(1-916): View more from California

High five!

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(619): View more from California

i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,

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(616): View more from Michigan

those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.

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(925): View more from California

These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.

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(313): View more from Michigan

My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?

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