You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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