just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
