no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
