Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
