Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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