Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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