apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
