I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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