strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i've created a new STD.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
