perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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