Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He passed out mid-signature
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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