butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
