those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
