I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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