What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
