need another drink. this is the easiest way
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
