I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
