I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
