Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize