Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
