New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
