what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
