Porn is love you can see.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
