the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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