Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
